Thank you sir may I have another...

Today both of our cars were on E so being the nice husband that I am I not only filled up my car but also my wife's as well. Well $130 later both tanks are full. $130...are you friggin' kidding me I almost crapped my pants. I know I'm not the only one that is fed up with the gas prices. The worst part about it is that I know that the gas prices here are on the cheap side. I have relatives and friends in the Northeast and I know that they are getting crushed by gas prices on a daily basis. I can't even being to imagine how much gas is in California. Now I know there is the fact that the Middle East is pretty much imploding right now but that doesn't change the fact that paying almost $4/gallon sucks. I just got back from the Middle East...you want to know how much gas is a gallon in Iraq? Like 50 friggin' cents. I'm not kidding it was that cheap. I should have thought to pump some and bring it back. I could have made a killer profit. I'm not a big conspiracy theorist but I am sure this is some plot by Al Gore and the car companies to get us all to drive hybrids, electric cars, and smart cars. My dad just bought a Honda Fit...I'm pretty sure that I can fit it into the back of my Explorer.

(Dad's Honda/Micro Machine...he loves this thing)

Thanks but no thanks...I'm a self proclaimed redneck now (I wear camo, listen to country, and own a gun). I guess until I breakdown and convert my car to run on vegetable oil, every time that I go to the pump I'll just be saying "Thank you sir may I have another". (Shimon if you are reading this you know this is a saying that we learned well from the Army...miss you bud!)

D.A.H.

D.A.H. is a little acronym that my wife and her friends decided to make up to talk about their wonderful, loving, devoted husbands while at work. They use it as code as in "Guess what my dah did last night" or "You'll never believe what my dah did". What does this wonderful little acronym stand for? Yes, you guessed it DUMB ASS husband. I was a little hurt when I found out but I can't deny that there is a little truth in the description. It's not that I try to be that way I think it's more a of a communication barrier. You see in my opinion my wife wants me to act one of two ways either like a chick or a guy from a romantic comedy movie. Unfortunately for her, I'm neither one of these things. Prime example, I drive a Ford Explorer which is a little rough around the edges and my wife's car is much nicer than mine. Saturday she took her's to get a state inspection with no worries it's almost brand new. SURPRISE!!! It gets rejected due to a tire being worn. Now me being the genius that I am take this opportunity to point out "Honey, did you ever think that my car would pass inspection and yours would have a big rejection sticker on it? WINNINGGGGGG" I would like to point out that quoting Charlie Sheen in situations like this is not a good idea and will just result in LOSINGGGGGG...and the silent treatment for a while.